Allah had gave me nothing that I wished for this few months. I asked in du'a for MARA, He didn't gave me. I asked for my best friend Farah Syairah to accompany me here, He didn't gave me too. Recently I asked for a good marks in my Physics quiz, and He gave me zero. I tend to felt a lil bit upset with myself and doubting things.
The moment when I felt He no longer loves me, He didin't allow me to feel that way.
Such an irony when I realize I got so many things here. Things that I never asked but He, The Most Merciful gave me.
He gave me the chance to eat apam aiskrim that I always looking for these few years. He gave me lots and lots of good friends here, who willing to encourage and support me when I need them. Especially my dearest Adillah Farhana. He gave me a roommate that helps me in my study, and entertained me in the most hillarious way. That is one fellow Zakiah Hanum Hussein. He gave me a chance to grow up, be a better person and move on from my past.
Here's another irony.
He also gave me a chance to make so many sins. So many till I felt I'm no longer myself. So many sins, yet at the end I'll regret it and He will lead me to the right path again. He'll made me wanna have Him in my heart again.
Allah loves us. The only one whom will always heard our heart story and gave us chances to love Him more and more, each days. Grateful because Allah gave me these unpleasant feelings of doing such sins within this month.
When you love someone and it tend to grow up a distance between you and Allah, leave it. If the love that you got makes you upset and full of questions, forget it. Leave it to Allah. When you leave someone for Allah, He'll replace it with someone better, or maybe the best.
After all, Allah loves us. Yes, He do and forever will do.