Aug 31, 2013

Her Day

She wake up early in the morning at 6.30 am and sit on her bed. Staring at the clock. Wishing it will never move.


She inhaled a deep and long breath. Walk towards the bathroom and take a shower.


Performing her subuh prayer and pray to The Almighty so that the day will be better than yesterday.


She took her baju kurung. Wear her contact lens and apply some powder. Wrap a veil around her head and sit down.


Took a sip of warm milk and she's ready to go.


Learn something new.
Met some beautiful soul.


Trying her best to be a happy and young bright girl like she used to be.


Trying her best to throw all those sadness and remember her main goal.


So that when she came back on 7.00 pm to her house, she can took a long shower peacefully.


She will sit down at the pray mat after Maghrib and recite the beautiful words of Holy Quran.


She will held all those tears from streaming down her cheeks and strengthen her heart.


She cannot be fragile. She must not be fragile.


She must remember 3:200 and 2:214.


Do some revision on Anatomy Physiology Biochemistry Pathology, mumbling around with her roommate and eventually climb her bed.


Wrap a blanket around her and face the wall. Away from the world.


Held those tears again.


And eventually drift to sleep.

Aug 25, 2013

My Crazy Housemate

Assalamualaikum.


This is a real story that I scribbled after one whole night staying up doing my ILA assignments :( 


Right now, I'm at home. My real home at Klang. I don't know what droves me here but last Friday, the idea of me coming home popped out of my mind. Whenever I'm at Ipoh, my weekend will be filled with books books books books books food and then books books books sleep sleep sleep books and eventually sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep for like asdfghjkl hours. Hahaha.


I'm opening my phone to check out for my memo and reminder when suddenly I saw something that Kinah  (my housemate) saved for me.


If Hot fm. has a session known as Hot fm. Top Five, I've got my own too. Kinah Top Five.


Kinah Being Crazy Number One :


From my inbox.


"Qila, nombor matrik kau berapa? "

"57260313239. Kenapa?"

"Aku nak saman kau."

"-___-"

"Kau kat mana? Bas kau pukul berapa?"

"4.30. Kau dah on the way lah ni ye? 
Hati-hati kalau ada orang tua gatal kau jangan layan!"

"Aku kidnap, buat laki kau. As hadiah birthday."

"-________-"

Kinah Being Crazy Number Two :


From a memo saved in my phone.





Tnfe pun boleh Kinah. Pun boleh...


Kinah Being Crazy Number Three :


At the road on our way back from terawih at night during Ramadan.


Me : Apahal motor kat belakang ni hon kita weh?

Obie : Gila kot.

Kinah : Dia nak potong ke? Dah cukup laju aku bawak ni.


Suddenly that guy passed through us and yelled :


" Lampu woi, lampu! Bukak lampu! "


Me, Obie and Bihah speechless. While Kinah laughing and turned her car light on.


-________-


Kinah Being Crazy Number Four :


At my room.


" Weh cepat! Gambo jom gambo! Bila lagi nak ada gambo pakai tuala! "






Tu hah. Yang kiri tu. 











Yang tudung purple tu. Dia sorang je boleh buat expression muka pelik-pelik camtu.


Kinah Being Crazy Number Five :


At my room.


" Kome, kome tau dak kita nak mai pi kelas esok pukul berapa? "


Aku pandang Obie. Obie pandang aku.


" Kau dah kenapa Kinah campur-campur Perak dengan Kedah ni?! "


" Hybrid. "


-_______-



* * * * * * * * * * * *


Instead of her Kinah Top Five, she got one beautiful soul that I can never forget.


Whenever I got stressed out doing my BPSS (Biochemistry Problem Solving Session), she will come to me and says "Kalau aku nak tolong ajar boleh?"


Every morning, I'll definitely be the last person whom came out of the house. Kinah will always wait for me patiently and never mention anything about me and Obie being late every morning. Because we go to class together every day using her car and she's the one who's driving, of course I felt guilty for taking so much time every morning to manage my tudung :(


Kinah never scolded anyone. Kinah never complained on anything even its the worst that happened, like the incident when her battery car got stolen last time. Kinah never says anything bad or hurt anybody.


Kinah is one pure and kind hearted person. Even its only nearly two months I've known her, I love her and I always wanted to know her more.


Kinah, saranghae! ^^


Aug 19, 2013

Pearl In A Tragedy

Kita semua sedia maklum. Bila susah menghimpit, nafas tersekat, tak mampu pusing mana-mana arah :
Baru kita ingat kita masih punya Dia.


Baru kita ingin menangis dan serah semua air mata kepada Dia.
Sebab Dia sentiasa ada.


Khamis lepas aku dan housemates ditimpa tragedi.
Balik dari kelas dan ingin pulang ke rumah - Kereta Kinah diceroboh masuk.
And something hits me. To the deepest part of my inner soul.
It stabbed and crushed my heart till pieces.
Thousands of pieces.


I've lost my laptop.


My brand new laptop that my father bought for me last two weeks.


Sedih. Kaku.
Tapi tak terekspresi melalui tindakan.
Tak terkeluar air mata yang aku simpan.
Tak mampu nak keluarkan apa-apa perkataan.


Yang aku sebut cuma beberapa "Hah?" "Serious?" "Hmm" "Oh"
Dan pijak diri sendiri sebab tinggalkan laptop dalam kereta. Virtually stab myself.


Bila Kinah nak start enjin, kereta tak berbunyi.
Of course : Makhluk Tuhan itu curi bateri kereta dan potong wayar enjin.


Dugaan. Tak terduga rasanya.
Baru sekejap aku, Kinah dan Obie pergi pasaraya beli sayur.
Baru 20 minit kereta ditinggalkan.
Baru 20 minit aku terlepas pandang pada laptop.


Hilang. Semua hilang.


Mujur masih ada yang sudi hulur bantuan.
Bila semua yang berkromosom XX ini buntu.
Nadhil, Muthiain and the geng datang jenguk lepas Obie call minta tolong.


And abang senior Aidil yang kebetulan singgah tanya keadaan.
Of course. Mana tak pelik bila kau lihat empat orang perempuan termangu-mangu depan kereta.


Terima kasih.
Terima kasih Miera yang sudi teman ke balai polis buat laporan.
Terima kasih Nadhil yang tolong belikan bateri kereta dan panggil mekanik datang repair.
Terima kasih Muthiain yang jagakan kereta sementara semua pergi buat report.
Terima kasih abang Aidil yang banyak bagi semangat and peringatan.


Terima kasih.


Bawah hujan lebat dan bala yang tertimpa, Dia masih sudi perlihatkan kasih sayang-Nya.
Even aku sedar laptop yang cecah 2k itu tak mampu nak terkejar semula -
Sekurang-kurangnya Dia telah tunjuk rahmat dan pertolongan dia tak boleh diukur dengan harga.


Sekurang-kurangnya Dia sampaikan ilham kepada Kak Nik untuk beri aku Al Baqarah : 214.


Untuk aku sabar. Untuk aku kuatkan kesabaran.
Untuk aku tebus rasa bersalah pada ayah dan mama yang banyak berkorban untuk aku sambung pelajaran dalam bidang ini.
Untuk aku bangun dari mimpi.
Dan agar aku sedar - Tanggungjawab aku yg belum tertunai kepada keluarga.


Dear mom and dad, I'll never forgive myself for being so careless and clumsy. I'll never be able to repay all your kindness and worth of money you've spent for me.


But I can promise you one thing.


I'll give my heart and soul to make you proud of me. I'll fight and shout my inner strength to be what I've always dream of.
What you've always dream of.


Terima kasih Tuhan.
Masih meminjamkan aku kesedaran dan kesabaran.
Mungkin ini peringatan untuk aku agar bangun -
Dan lupakan semua mimpi yang menjatuhkan aku.


Biarpun dah bermalam-malam tidur aku tak pernah lena.
Biarpun dah berhari-hari aku menangis dalam hati.
Bila teringat laptop yang aku hilang sekelip mata.


Syukur. Masih kuat untuk simpan kesedihan sendiri tanpa bebankan orang lain.


Terima kasih Tuhan.


"In tears and letting go, I found peace and acceptance"
Inspired by Yasmin Mogahed.

Aug 16, 2013

I Want To Spread The Smile :)






"Jump. And shout. Laugh as much as you can. Give your purified smile and spread the happiness. You'll find life in your hands. Hold it, but not too tight. But don't let it go."

Aug 3, 2013

Aku Datang

Assalamualaikum.


22 July 2013. I'm nineteen already.


Aku pernah cakap berkali-kali pada diri - Rasa itu telah sebati. Mungkin juga tersimpan sendiri.


But one wish and a phone call twisted everything. It feels like the old times. Where I can talk and smile and laugh like I used to before. Where there's a lot to say but most of it remains unspoken. The familiar beating of my heart.


Mungkin sudah ada banyak medium yang memisahkan - Jarak. Masa. Hidup sebagai ulat buku.
Mungkin juga berulang kali aku tegaskan pada diri - Aku sudah tidak mahu berharap lagi.
Mungkin satu masa dulu aku pernah sangka semuanya tak lebih dari sekadar kenangan.


Tapi kita semua tahu. Bila masanya kita tersedar yang kita masih terkurung dalam takuk masa lalu.


Bilamana saat terbaca nama pada bungkusan Pos Laju Rabu lepas, aku tahan air mata sungguh-sungguh dan pretend everything is nothing. Sampai rumah, belek-belek sekejap dan terus letak atas meja. Tak pandang-pandang lagi.


Dan tak semua perkara kita boleh tipu diri sendiri.


Sebab pagi itu lepas terjaga dari tidur, aku tersedar dalam keadaan kepala aku berbantalkan sari-sari itu. 



**********


I thought everything about me was already forgotten. But I guessed its not yet.


Aku tertanya-tanya bagaimana rupa bila aku versi Malaysia ikut jejak kaki kau
ke India sana.


Bila ada persamaaan antara kita -


Masih bolehkah masa lalu aku ulang semula.
Masih bolehkah aku jatuh cinta untuk kali kedua dan seterusnya.


-------


Nota kaki : Ini fiksyen. Kot.