I was sitting in the library.
Far away at a corner where people couldn't see me.
As I am holding a book by Mitch Albom, Nad came to me and sat on the table in front of me.
Few minutes later, she was crying.
And all I can do is passively looking at her while trying to spill out every blank words that got stucked in my head.
I knew how painful it is for Nad.
To bear the emotional burden of getting turned down by the one you trusted so much. To let go of the happiness that you've placed in someone's shoulder.
And to walk on with the pieces of a broken heart.
When finally Nad uttered those words, I looked at her.
"Qila, how I wish I could switch my place with you. You can face this thing better than me."
My lovely Nad, I couldn't.
You think I could, but the fact is I am much more damaged on the inside.
You wouldn't want to switch your place with me, Nad.
You will never want to be me.
Because I myself, no more acknowledge my existence in this world either.
I am literally a dead man walking. A living skeleton.
Anything but a body with a soul.