Aug 12, 2014

The Clock Is Ticking (Dark)


Dear Dilla, if only we could turn back the time..


All I ever want is for you to be here with me. Together, both of us could reach the sky and count the stars. I'll be there for you through anything that came between our paths and I knew, you'll definitely be there for me too.


Dear Dilla, I never knew how painful it is to be alone. To have no one cares for you. To have everyone left you behind. 


But now I do..


I'm living in a world where all of us only care about our own life and nobody bothers to ask someone "Are you okay?"


But then I guessed, thats the way medical students live.


Aku bersyukur apa adanya dengan rezeki meneruskan juang dalam bidang perubatan, kerana salah satu nawaitu aku untuk terus bertahan dalam bidang ini adalah demi janji yang pernah aku buat bersama Dilla.


Tapi setiap apa yang Dia beri, pasti ada yang Dia ambil.
Entahlah. Sejak dulu lagi aku sering diuji sebegini.


Aku berjaya menggapai cita-cita untuk menjadi pelajar perubatan, tetapi aku terpaksa bersendirian meneruskan kehidupan disini kerana aku ketiadaan sesiapa untuk menjadi sahabat.


Setiap malam sebelum tidur, apa yang paling aku inginkan adalah seseorang untuk aku ucapkan "Selamat malam, tidur dulu!" dan bergelak ketawa sesama sendiri.


Aku sudah tidak punya apa-apa dan sesiapa selain keluarga dan Dilla.


I put all the blame on me.
I wasn't worth anything.


I've heard about Robin William's death due to suicide this morning.
I'm afraid my time will come.


The only difference is, his name is now scattered all over the world but my death will only be mourned by my family, and maybe Dilla.


I saw nothing but darkness.
My soul is as black as my heart.

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