The only kind of animals I'm afraid in this world is anything that belongs to the class of Nematode, Trematode and Cestode. That's all.
(Well I'm not afraid of tiger or lion but if they're right in front if me SURELY as any normal human being, I'll run away at the speed of 180 km/h)
I remember during one of my lab practical of Biology at PASUM, we used to play with frogs to see their reflex action or something like that. I can't quite figure out exactly the type of experiment we did. But one thing for sure, we somehow was instructed to 'torture' the frog by swiping acid at its leg and then puncture it's brain :'(
I was never afraid of frog or even blood.
But the moment I punctured it's brain with needle, my heartbeat dropped at its lowest level and I got this cold sensation all around my hands and feet.
All I can remember was my friends told me to sit down as they saw how pale my face was, Din asked me with curiosity "Qila whats wrong with you?" and fifteen seconds later, I clinged on Miera's shoulder before everything turned dark and black.
Yeah I basically fainted after committing a sadistic murder of a frog.
Blame the Biology practical's instructions.
Up till now, I wonder how can I blacked out just by killing a frog.
I used to dissect a mice and I was okay with it.
(Well I actually cried in my sleep the night after we did that in laboratory)
I guessed I can't stand to hurt or torture any kind of living things, even for educational purpose. I can still remember how the frog struggled itself when we placed the acid at its feet, and how finally it remained in silence after we punctured its brain.
I'm so sorry, froggy.
May you rest in peace.
But then I discovered I had developed this one kind of inner terror when it cames to hurting animals. I can't bear to hear the story of how a cat was being kicked until its death. How a dog was being enslaved. How a mice was raised to be a subject of cosmetic test.
I can't even imagine the thought of me experimenting with frogs again.
Ironically, now I'm sitting in a library and fifteen minutes from now I'll be having a Physiology practical session where we need to use FROGS.
Just by looking at the practical manual and now the nausea kicked me in.
I felt the irritating sensation of wanting to vomit.
Please, no more episodes of torturing a frog.
Please, no more killing or hurting or poking or puncturing.
I don't know how to hide this face if I happen to be fainted right in front of 30 students again.
UPDATED ON 6.20 PM
I ignored my ice cold hands and feet.
The moment they asked us to take the frog and punctured its brain, I quickly stand forward and basically just did it with my trembling hands and my mouth whispering with zikir for that frog.
The frog is as big as the palm of my hand.
And it was stubborn too.
Because I need to puncture its brain and crushed it over and over again, since its too big and refused to die.
Even after we shed the skin from its abdomen, it still moved and struggling to let itself out of my hands.
I pray hard for it to die quickly.
I can't stand to see how painful it is to die with all those kind of tortures.
Dr Noorzaid seemed to understand and he told us to respect and treat the frog with care, since we sacraficed it for our learning purpose. God knows how I wish I could smacked the frog's head with hammer so that it will just die, and do not need to feel all those pain.
Even when we cut the muscle from its leg, it still moving..
For the next two hours, I continuously told myself to calm down and do not let the emotion and fear controlling my mind. I proceed with the experiment to see how muscle contraction will respond to external stimulus and trying my best to let go the guilty feeling of killing a frog.
May you die in peace, froggy.
I'm sorry I couldn't end your suffer as early as I could.
Well somebody might considered this as a piece if dust, but you really need to respect the subject you used as a learning tool. No matter what kind of animals you used, remember not to kill it with ignorance.
I'm not against animal testing for educational purpose, but there are some limits and guidance that you should follow. Treat them with care. Respect their death. Do not see them as a piece of shit that you can do whatever you wanted to.
Because every life is precious, no matter how small the size is.
Thank you froggy.
And Aqila, well done for not letting the fear engulfing your mind.