I'm living in an era of the world where single people are considered as picky while dating people are being called lucky.
As much as I hate it when my own good friend snapped at me "Kau memilih sangat!", there's nothing I could do.
What do you expect, me accepting every heart being offered?
I'm not a feminist.
Not a hater of 'happily ever after' love stories either.
I do believe in true love.
Something that's been created by Allah, as one of the blessing in life, not to forget as a test.
Just because I haven't given the chance to have it, doesn't mean I have to stop believing in it.
(Is loving someone worth waiting for already considered as a true love? Even that feeling wasn't mutual?)
I might not be a good person to talk about this.
I sin, a lot.
But I'm not kidding when I said I wanted a love that was meant for marriage.
I just don't get the idea of loving each other but you, yourself, wasn't sure of the ending. No purpose. No vision. No plan.
For me, its easy.
Love is a commitment.
And if you wasn't sure whether or not you're ready for the commitment, how can I believe when you said you can love me eternally?
Us, young adults, often misunderstood love as a beautiful and magnificent thing. Its true, but its not the only thing you can look in love.
How about when it comes to a time where that beautiful and magical moments fading away? Youth and beauty no longer circumstances you? Trials and responsibilities hit you like a truck?
What can you do when the love itself is no longer burning and glowing like it used to?
You gave up?
You look for another excitement of love?
No, you don't.
That's when commitment comes to make sense.
I hate to break this to people who don't understand me, not knowing me well. Being labelled as a picky really hurts me. Not once, in my mind, the idea of me breaking every heart makes me happy. Never.
I just couldn't love someone who view love as "I have your heart and that's enough."
But well, told ya I'm not good enough to talk about this. Preaching about love in marriage yet still committing sins.
The irony is, I admit I pushed away people who gave their heart to me but I couldn't deny the reality of me loving someone for almost five years, waiting for this feeling to be replied when he's ready.
At least, though its one-sided love, I wasn't kidding when I said I'm serious when it comes to marriage and commitment.
And even at the end, he wasn't meant to be for me, I believe in God's plan.
The right person will come.
In the right time, with the right purpose.
God knows best.