Mar 26, 2015


There will be an official meeting on next Saturday, between Dean of Faculty of Medicine with parents of all Vinayaka Mission University's students.

I was one of 'em.

Based on the academic calender, we were supposed to further our clinical years at India this July. Right after Syawal. But then, everything's gone. Every hope that I've ever put on this programme was dead. 

Due to some internal and external factors, with addition from the change of policy in India's government, we were told that this programme has been completely terminated.

You know that feeling when you've been hoping, wanting and waiting for something to be happened yet at the end, right before the day, everything collapsed and vanished?

I used to feel that kind of frustration, not long ago.

So when I've heard an official statement from the university's management regarding this issue several weeks before they've decided to conduct a meeting with our parents, I was completely blank and neutral. It is as if every emotions I used to have decided to remain dormant inside me. I didn't shed a single tear, nor that I let out any sighs and spoke any frustrations. I was literally emotionless.

I was expecting this to be happened.
Only never crossed my mind that I could be this vivid and stone.

You see, we've been fighting for this issue by ourselves. We gave the management our petition letters and we even brought this issue to the highest and powerful person-in-charge we could ever looked for. The urge was indescribable. The fire we ignited in our soul was so bright we could never imagined ourselves desperately, chronically, strongly fighting for anything other than this.

We wanted to further our studies in India.
I wanted to further my study in India.

At the end, the decision was made. It was a big fat NO.

And here we are, helpless and hopeless. 
Churning every words given with bittersweet kind of acceptance.

But that's not the end.

Another choice was given for us. To stay here in Malaysia and completing our remaining three years degree, or went to MSU Bangalore and start over from the very first year, until we succeed in finishing our five years degree.

See how faith entwined my journey?

The very first moment I've heard that word MSU, it strikes me deep. Right into the core of my heart and I can sense a bloating sensation in my stomach. But it didn't last a long time. Few seconds after I obtained my sanity and consciousness, they're gone. I keep on searching for a familiar figure inside my head and nothing's there. Completely gone. Like a temporary spark of a firework.

Bright, intense luminosity, full of warmness and the second I wanted to embrace those memories, they're gone. Like a dimmed firework that eventually dies.

Few people signed up to join MSU Bangalore and will be leaving Malaysia soon.

I wrote my name in a piece of paper.
Then I crumpled it and to the dustbin it went.

No comments: